I am a registered Non-Partisan voter. I used to be a member of one of the ‘Big 2′ political parties, but I jumped off that sinking liner a while back.
Even when I was a member of a party I had a tendency to vote for 3rd party/Outsider candidates every chance I had. So scratching my name off the party rolls wasn’t going to tip the scales of Democracy much.
And leads me to one of the things about politics in America that is out of whack: when I was a member of the party they didn’t give a rat’s ass what I thought. And neither did the other side. But now that I am in the Non-Partisan middle, they both desire me. I can smell their lust (for power) a mile away.
Usually I would feel flattered to be fought over, but I have seen both these mugs without their make-up on and it is a pretty gruesome sight. And if you are a member of either of these two big-political-parties-that-get-to-make-up-the-rules-to-this-tea-party-we-call-a-Democracy, you have to see them for the grotesque beasties that they are, too.
Because right now your party cares more about me than they do you.
That’s a problem in the way our country is run.
The two parties that have their boot-heels on the neck of the voting public have trotted out 2-and-a-quarter* new models from the “Lesser-of-two-evils” line of Presidential candidates, and me and my sick-of-it-all brethren and sistren are going to be the ones stuck with the onus of choosing the next Leader of the Free World from that oh-so shallow pool.
The pool is so shallow, as a matter of fact, that none of the candidates will dare to dive into an opinion on most subjects. And I get to play ‘eenie-meenie-miny-moe” in November to decide whether we go to Hell in A) a hand basket B) a hand basket with no new taxes.
Thanks for the options, America. Oh, what…..there is a movement to elect Christopher Walken president?
Oh, thank you lady Liberty!
I have seen the glory…
Finally, a candidate that combines the best of all out recent Presidents: He’s an actor, a womanizer, he has probably inhaled or even done better, worse drugs…what, Walken’s not running?
Who, then, has the attributes of the men we have put in office in the last generation. Which actor has had the sexual scandals, the rampant drug use, the last name that is also a euphamism for genitalia?
Ladies and gentlemen, the next President of the United States…Andy Dick!
Now that’s pretty fucked up.
Now, do you see why your vote counts? Don’t let this happen America!
* In a spirit of generousity I am giving Hitlery a fraction of a shot at winning the nomination.
